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Friday, June 1, 2012

Raha toa moa ka … misalasala


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J’ai ceci comme problème: je tergiverse beaucoup. Il y a de cela quelques semaines, je conduisais mon épouse chez un toubib, et pendant qu’elle entre dans le cabinet du médecin, je l’attend dehors. Un marchand de journaux ambulant s’approche de moi, et il me vient à l’esprit l’envie d’acheter un journal, en effet, c’est le moment idéal pour s’en acheter étant donné que je n’ai pas internet et que je n’ai rien pour m’occuper pendant que j’attend ma femme. Et pendant que le marchand s’approche, des calculs et traitements automatiques d’informations se lancent dans mon cerveau: je n’ai pas les petites monnaies pour acheter le journal, et le billet que j’ai dans mon porte-feuille est l’équivalent de 25 journaux, donc ce sera un peu embêtant pour lui de rendre la monnaie. Pendant ces reflexions, le marchand de journaux passe devant moi, avec un petit regard inquisiteur. Et quand il est passé de deux mètres, je me rends compte que j’ai vraiment besoin de m’occuper en lisant un journal, et que c’est son job de trouver de quoi rendre ma monnaie, mais un sentiment de culpabilité m’empêche de l’appeler. Ce serait pas gentil de le rappeler une fois passé et en plus de lui donner un billet qui n’est pas facile à échanger. Donc je ne l’appelle pas et il s’éloigne, et je me dis, mais pourquoi je ne courrais pas un peu le rattraper? Mais l’envie me manque, pourquoi irais-je courir après lui, alors que je n’ai rien fait quand il passait devant moi?

Finalement, j’ai décidé de ne rien faire pour cette fois, mais par contre, si un autre marchand de journaux repasse, ou si le même revient, j’achète tout de suite sans hésiter. Et pour montrer ma décision, j’ai même ouvert mon porte-feuille pour sortir un billet afin que je n’aurai pas à fouiller mon porte-feuille devant ces marchands. Et là, je me rends compte que j’ai toutes les petites pièces qu’il faut pour m’acheter mon journal. A peine 10 minutes plus tôt, on a acheté quelque chose chez une épicerie qui nous a rendu beaucoup de petits billets et pièces. En fin de compte, la tergiversation est un petit problème, mais la perte de mémoire en est une autre et bien plus délicate. En effet, combien de fois j’essaie de me rappeler quelque chose que je viens de faire 5 minutes et je n’en ai le moindre souvenir, des cas classiques comme si j’avais fermé la porte à clé ou non?

Serais-ce la vieillesse ou une dégénérescence sénile précoce? J’aurais dû faire politicien, j’ai toutes les qualités nécessaires : je tergiverse, je prend la mauvaise décision, et je n’aurai aucune mémoire de ce que j’aurais dit, fait ou promis.

Toetrako anankiray izay ny misalasala, tsy mahatapa-kevitra. Ohatra izany hoe manao mpamilin-drafotsy aho fa mankao amin’ny mpitsabo izy, dia miandry azy eo ivelan’ny toeram-pitsaboana eo. Dia iny misy mpivarotra gazety mandalo, dia tonga ato an-tsaiko hoe amin’ny fotoana sahala amin’izao no mila mividy gazety mba hovakivakiana satria tsy misy internet eto fa dia hidogaigy fotsiny eto ve. Dia mandeha any anaty lohako any ny kajikajy isan-karazany hoe aty am-paosy anefa tsy misy vola madinika fa tonga dia iray alina jiaby jiaby, sao manahirana an’ilay mpivarotra gazety fotsiny indray ny mitady madinika hamerenana ny volako. Mandritra izany fotoana hiketriketrehan’ny lohako izany no mandalo ahy eo ilay mpivaro-gazety, mangata-maso kely dia lasa, mitady mpanjifa hafa. Dia nony efa lasa eo amin’ny 2 metatra eo indray izy dia toa te-hanapa-kevitra ihany aho hoe ka ilaiko anie ilay gazety hovakivakiana fa vola ve no tadiaviny tsy hanao izay hahitany famerim-bola ho ahy izy? Fa dia tonga ao an-tsaiko indray ny hoe eo izy mandalo ahy tsy asiako sira, efa lasa indray izy vao hantsoiko hiverina sady mbola ho vola vaventy koa no homeko azy, tsy toy ny mpila kisa indray ve aho? Dia iny tokoa aho fa misalasala eo ary dia tsy miantso azy indray. Izy amin’izany mihamanalavitra ahy ihany, dia mieritreritra indray aho hoe ary raha izaho no mba mihazakazaka kely ary manenjika azy e? Dia ny hakamoana indray no mahazo sehatra hoe eo izy manatona akaiky tsy hita izay atao koa efa lasa 10 metatra vao hohenjehina, angaha ho faty eto sa hilatsahan’ny varatra raha tsy mividy an’iny gazety iny?

Dia navela handeha ilay mpivarotra gazety, ary dia izay vao tena tapaka ny hevitra fa raha miverina mandalo eo izy, na misy mpivarotra gazety hafa mandalo eo dia tena hividy mihitsy, ary mba hanehoana ny fahavononana dia navoaka avy any anaty fitoeram-bola mihitsy ny iray alina hividianana gazety. Teo vao hita fa hay moa tao anaty fitoeram-bola nisy vola madinika ariary zato, roanjato sy dimanjato famerin’ilay chemise carton novidiana tatsy ambany tatsy satria nasain’ny mpitsabo nitondra chemise carton iray rafotsy. Hay moa izany ilay misalasala eo ihany fa ny tena olana iray ananako ity mbola lalina noho izay dia ny tsy fananana fitadidiana mihitsy. Zavatra vao natao vao 10 minitra lasa raha ela dia tsy misy tsaroako. Impiry moa aho aty an-trano no efa mafana ao am-pandriana vao miverina mitsangana manamarina ny hidin-trano hoe nohidiako moa izy teo sa tsia? Ary efa tonga eo amin’ilay varavarana nohidiana vao tadidy tsara hoe “Eny, nohidiako tokoa izy ity, nahodiko toy izao ny fanalahidiny”.

Mety efa mitaky koa angamba ny isan-jaza na tratran’ny aretina hoe “dégénérescence sénile” sahady aho e?

Na mety tokony ho mpanao politika no asa nety tamiko, tsy mahatapa-kevitra mihitsy ary manadino ny teny nolazaina vao omalin’ny omaly …


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