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Tuesday, April 1, 2014
Poisson d’avril
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Quand j’avais 15 ans, j’avais deux petites amies dont je ne citerai pas les noms, appelons les tout simplement R. et J.
Un matin, j’avais reçu un SMS de R. disant qu’elle n’avait plus ses règles et qu’ayant fait un test de grossesse, c’était positif. Affolé, j’allais chez J pour lui dire qu’on devait rompre, il était évident que je ne pouvais plus entretenir deux relations en même temps. Mais elle aussi, elle me montrait son test de grossesse avec deux barres.
Oups, me voilà père deux fois le même jour. Un ménage à trois est-il possible dans un pays non musulman?
J’avais le choix entre aller me suicider, aller s’enfuir, aller se marier avec l’une et quitter l’autre. Finalement, j’ai choisi de faire ma vie avec R. et de me rompre avec J. J’ai donc décidé de lui avouer la vérité et j’allais sortir mon Samsung Galaxy S4 pour lui montrer le SMS que j’ai reçu de R. Et là, elle s’est éclaté de rire.
Tu es vraiment fort, me dit-elle. Il m’a fallu une semaine pour fabriquer un faux test de grossesse et toi, il te suffit de quelques minutes pour inventer un faux SMS. Et tu jouais le jeu comme si tu avais vraiment mordu à mon poisson d’avril.
Donc, le message de R. était aussi un poisson d’avril. Personne n’était enceinte et J. ne croyait pas du tout que j’avais une autre petite amie, pour elle, c’était mon poisson d’avril.
C’était le 1er avril 1995.
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Wednesday, March 5, 2014
Dre Dre Drenin’ity!
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Neny ô, i V anie miteniteny ratsy dia mihomehy izy rehefa avy miteny an’ilay izy sady mitsoaka e! Hoy ilay zanako vavy mitoroka ilay zandriny 4 taona. Somary tsy henon’ny reniny ilay izy tamin’ny voalohany fa nandrasany tsara ilay zaza hamerina, tsy dia azo atao mantsy ny mibedy zaza avy amin’ny alàlan’ny tati-bolana fa aleo renesina tsara aloha ilay teny ratsy vao mibedy.
Kelikely teo, iny indray izy tamy sady nanao hoe “Dre dre drenin’ity”, ary dia mivanitika tokoa sady lasa mirifatra avy eo. Nenjehin’ny reniny, ary nanontaniany tsara hoe fiteny avy aiza io, any am-pianarana any mantsy tsy hay tsy hay intsony.
- “Fa iza no nampianatra anao an’izany? Teny ratsy izany fa aza mamerina an’izany!”
- “I Dada no nampianatra ahy an’izany!”
Maty ialahy ry Dot androany fa mampiana-dratsy ny ankizy.
Mea culpa. Tena izaho tokoa no naharenesany an’io. Misy mpiara-miasa amiko taloha izay rehefa tezitra mitondra fiara dia manompa hoe “Vadin-drenin’ity”. Vady an, fa tsy ilay ompa iray ratsy kokoa. Ary dia naveriko tokoa io fombany io indray andro, mba ohatry ny fanalàna azy sy mba “tribute” kely ho an’ilay bandy akama. Kanjo ren’ilay zanakavavy ilay izy ary tsy tadidiny tsara fa dia io “Dre dre drenin’ity” io no namerenany azy.
Monday, February 3, 2014
Ce n’est pas du plagiat ou du copié-collé
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