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Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Et si … l’origine du monde

Tuesday, April 28, 2009 | 10 comments comments

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Attention, ce billet contient les mots-clés suivants qui pourraient heurter la sensibilité de certains : L’origine du monde, macho, testostérone, sexe, organe génital, pénis …

Quand je naquis, et que j’ai vu que j’avais un pénis, je me suis dit: “Bon, je serai un macho. Les hommes sont plus forts, plus intelligents, mieux en tout que les femmes, sauf peut-être pour repasser et pour suivre les feuilletons interMINABLES.”

En grandissant, ce sentiment de macho s’est vu renforcé, quand j’ai fait l’auto-école. Quelle galère pour le pauvre moniteur quand un fille du sexe féminin s’asseyait devant le volant. Je me souviendrai toujours d’une phrase d’un moniteur envers une fille qui ne serrait pas le volant assez fort : “Mademoiselle, ça, c’est un volant de voiture, ce n’est pas un organe génital masculin : il ne sentira aucune douleur même si vous le serrez de toutes vos forces. Par contre, vous, vous serez en danger si vous continuez à le tenir ainsi.”

Ou alors quand j’ai fait apprendre à une fille comment se servir d’un clavier d’ordinateur et de la souris … (Elle avait de looooongues ongles, imaginez en combien de temps j’ai pu lui passer les bases de comment tenir la souris et faire déplacer le curseur, comment taper Ctrl+Alt+F1 …)

Mais après mûres réflexions, il y a bien des domaines où les femmes sont mieux que les hommes, et pourtant, tout le monde, y compris les femmes, pensent que ce sont des domaines réservés aux hommes. Et il ne s’agit pas de repasser les linges ou de suivre des feuilletons. Vous ne l’aurez pas deviné, je parle de politique. C’est dur à comprendre mais les Rainiboto, les Argentins, les Philippins, … l’ont compris. Les Français et les Américains l’ont presque compris.

(L’origine du monde est un tableau représentant le sexe et le ventre d’une femme allongée nue sur un lit, les cuisses écartées, et cadrée de sorte qu’on n’en voit rien au-dessus des seins ni en dessous des cuisses. Photo: screenshot de Wikipédia. Image dans le domaine public.)

A Madagascar, une démission collective de ministres a réussi à faire démissionner le président Ravalomanana le 17 mars 2009, mais la première à démissionner fut une femme, Manorohanta Dominique Cécile Marie-Ange, Ministre de la Défense Nationale, la seule qui a eu assez de couilles pour tenir tête à Papa en dénonçant le carnage du 07 février 2009 à Antaninarenina. Malheureusement, l’ère après-Ravalo fut pire qu’avant, non pas parce que c’est TGV qui a pris les pouvoirs, mais parce que c’est toujours des hommes qui ont repris le pouvoir. Théorème du jour: Testostérones et pouvoir politique ne font pas bon ménage.

Donc, pour avoir une tateza-mita réussie, ce n’est pas les réconciliations, assises nationales, gouvernements d’union nationale qui sont les solutions, la solution est un gouvernement exempt de testostérone.

Et pour vous faire une idée : voici un aperçu des membres de ce gouvernement avec un taux élevé de progestérones et d’œstrogènes :

Manorohanta Dominique Cécile Marie-Ange : Présidente de la Transition, ayant l’attribution du Président de la République.

Elia Ravelomanantsoa : Premier ministre, Chef du Gouvernement.

Mialy Rajoelina : Ministre des Affaires Etrangères, fa mailo ihany amin’ireo Bretton Woods ireo na izany aza.

Lalao Ravalomanana : Ministre de la Population et de la condition masculine.

Harilala Ramanantsoa (PDG Madavision, Madame Grande Braderie) : Ministre de l’industrialisation et du commerce

Onitiana Realy : Ministre de la Poste, des Télécommunications, de l’Information de de la Communication.

Mathilde Rabary : Ministre de la Justice, Garde des sceaux

Suzanne Ratsimamanga : Ministre de la Santé

Hanitra Randriamboavonjy : Ministre de l’Education Nationale et de la Recherche scientifique (raha izy no manapa-kevitra dia ekeko ny fanagasiana)

Eric Tahina Razanamaholy : Ministre de la Jeunesse, des Sports, de la Culture et des Loisirs.

Et comme il y a toujours une exception, comme quoi les gouvernements macho ont des ministres féminins :

R Clee “Cocorico” : Ministre de la Défense Nationale et de la Sécurité Intérieure.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Raha toa moa ka … hatsahatra

Thursday, April 16, 2009 | 5 comments comments

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Mamomamo rangahy niditra tao am-parafara, tsy katry be akory fa mba dizna kely fotsiny. Avy dia nanafosafo sy nanorokoroka an-dramatoa fa te hanao ilay adidin’ny mpivady. Kanjo tonga dia nahifik’ilay vadiny tsy misy fitserana.

- An an an, hoy rafotsy nasiaka, tsy androany fa sady vizana be aho izany no marary be ny an-dohako, sady tsy tiako fa misy fofon-toaka indray ianao.

Somary tezitra rangahy ka somary notereny nosokafana ity fem-badiny sady nampiany hoe :

- Hanao itena sa tsy hanao fa rehefa tsy hanome izay ilaiko izaho koa anie mahay mitady any an-kafa e … Tsy lany firy mille akory dia mahazo tsara noho ny an-tena.

Avy dia nampiaka-peo ilay rafotsy :

- Tena mba aoka hatsahatra amin’izay kosa rainy ity fampiasan-kery sy fandrangitana ary fampitahorana ity a!
- Ka atsaharo koa aza ny fankahalàna, ny fitokonana sy ny fanelezana vaovao tsy marina e!

Friday, April 10, 2009

Et si … consensuelle

Friday, April 10, 2009 | 1 comment

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L’Union Africaine n’est pas contre un tateza-mita. Elle veut juste que les dirigeants du tateza-mita soit une figure consensuelle. J’ai eu la chance de misinterviewer une figure politique qui a demandé à rester sous l’anonymat, à propos de ce qu’elle entend par “transition consensuelle”.

Vous voyez, DotMG, disait donc ce politicien, inutile de chercher une figure consensuelle à cette transition, ne perdez pas de temps à rechercher un mythique Obama malgache qui n’existe pas. Cette transition consensuelle est représentée par moi et mon épouse à travers notre couple.

Avez-vous vu comment mon épouse s’habille et marche? Lors de nos apparitions, je vous parie que vous n’auriez jamais vu une femme aussi sensuelle qu’elle. Même l’épouse d’un certain Sarkozy rougirait de jalousie devant son charme et sa sensualité.

Et moi … je complète notre couple afin que ce couple représente une figure consensuelle.

Ce Qu’il Fallait Démontrer.