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Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Et si … toujours vouloir plus
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Janvier 2009, un homme richissime, célèbre, paouerfoule, et tout ça, rencontre un génie (le genre de génie qui sort d’un jar quand on le frotte). Alors, le génie lui propose de faire des (non pas un mais des) voeux.
- Alors mon ami, tu veux plus de quoi pour cette nouvelle année 2009? Plus d’argent? Plus de pouvoir? Plus de sexe? Plus de santé? Réponds-moi, ne réfléchis pas trop longtemps et ne demandes pas trop de choses, c’est un conseil.
- OK, je veux plus d’entreprises, je veux plus de pouvoir, je veux plus d’amis fidèles, je veux plus de vacances pour faire le tour de mon pays.
Il a un peu hésité pour demander plus de sexe et plus de santé, mais finalement, il a suivi les conseils du génie et s’en est resté à ces quatre voeux, pensant que de toute manière, il aura assez de sexe et de santé, surtout s’il aura ces quatre premiers voeux exaucés.
- Bon, répond le génie, il me faudra jusqu’à 2 à 3 mois pour exaucer tout ça, mais je te promets qu’ils seront exaucés d’ici fin mars.
Et voilà notre génie (le genre de génie qui sort d’un jar quand on le frotte et qui exauce les voeux), qui écrit son rapport: Un homme richissime, célèbre, paouerfoule, et tout ça, qui ne veut plus d’entreprises, il ne veut plus de pouvoir, il ne veut plus d’amis fidèle, il ne veut plus de vacances pour faire le tour de son pays. Pour exaucer ses voeux, je vais faire en sorte que soient pillées, brûlées et détruites ses entreprises, et ce qu’il en reste sera donné à son rival. Il n’aura plus de pouvoir comme il le souhaitait: il sera viré de son travail et expulsé de son pays et ne pourra plus y revenir cette année. Ses amis se tourneront contre lui, même parmi ses nouveaux amis iront faire la pêche au lieu de l’aider, et ses soi-disant amis fidèles ne le soutiendront que pour mieux l’écraser.
Janvier 2010, constatant l’arnaque du génie quand il lisait un blog hostile, il se consola ainsi :
- Si je jouais au Roi Solomon et demandait “plus de sagesse”, j’aurais été dans un asile de fou, genre Anjanamasina à l’heure qu’il est. Si j’avais dit “plus de liberté, ce serait la prison, genre Guantanamo ou Tsiafahy. Si j’ai dit “plus de santé”, j’aurais été un végétal dans un hôpital en piteux état, genre HJRA. Et pire que tout : si j’avais dit “plus de sexe”, des milices auraient sectionné mon organe génital ou bien mon pénis serait resté dans un verre, dans une maison au fin fond du sud de mon pays…