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Tuesday, April 1, 2014
Poisson d’avril
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Quand j’avais 15 ans, j’avais deux petites amies dont je ne citerai pas les noms, appelons les tout simplement R. et J.
Un matin, j’avais reçu un SMS de R. disant qu’elle n’avait plus ses règles et qu’ayant fait un test de grossesse, c’était positif. Affolé, j’allais chez J pour lui dire qu’on devait rompre, il était évident que je ne pouvais plus entretenir deux relations en même temps. Mais elle aussi, elle me montrait son test de grossesse avec deux barres.
Oups, me voilà père deux fois le même jour. Un ménage à trois est-il possible dans un pays non musulman?
J’avais le choix entre aller me suicider, aller s’enfuir, aller se marier avec l’une et quitter l’autre. Finalement, j’ai choisi de faire ma vie avec R. et de me rompre avec J. J’ai donc décidé de lui avouer la vérité et j’allais sortir mon Samsung Galaxy S4 pour lui montrer le SMS que j’ai reçu de R. Et là, elle s’est éclaté de rire.
Tu es vraiment fort, me dit-elle. Il m’a fallu une semaine pour fabriquer un faux test de grossesse et toi, il te suffit de quelques minutes pour inventer un faux SMS. Et tu jouais le jeu comme si tu avais vraiment mordu à mon poisson d’avril.
Donc, le message de R. était aussi un poisson d’avril. Personne n’était enceinte et J. ne croyait pas du tout que j’avais une autre petite amie, pour elle, c’était mon poisson d’avril.
C’était le 1er avril 1995.