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Wednesday, April 7, 2021

Ventoline


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Rakoto est un vendeur ambulant.

Rakoto est aussi un homme-à-tout-faire d’un politicien influent.

En 2020, Rakoto consultait son toubib de famille par téléphone, il avait des signes d’essoufflement. Ils ont parlé de la pandémie du Covid-19 ainsi que de la difficulté de Rakoto à écouler ses produits. Il vend notamment des pâtes à pizza.

Vers la fin de la discussion, Rakoto posait la question :

- Qu’allez-vous me prescrire? Si possible, des médicaments accessibles, disait-il, car c’est difficile de faire du business.
* Ventoline, répondait sèchement le toubib. Pouvez-vous essayer de me faire livrer un paquet de ces pâtes à pizza qu’ont finement écrasées vos enfants?

Le réseau ne passait pas bien en ce moment là. Le patron de Rakoto, le politicien influent, qui écoutait à côté pour prendre note de la prescription, lui demanda à Rakoto de confirmer.

- Il a dit “vente en ligne” et “confinement”.

Et c’est ainsi que les gouvernants ont décidé que la manière de combattre le Covid19 est de faire du télétravail et du confinement.


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Friday, March 5, 2021

Mukbang


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- Ohatry ny mba tiako izao ny hanao mukbang miaraka aminao, hoy ity vehivavy namana iray tamiko.
* Tsy mety amin’ny fivavahako retsy izany an, hoy aho.
- Izany koa ve dia haninona e, hoy izy? Sa sao dia zavatra hafa no heverinao ho dikan’ilay mukbang?
* Haiko tsara ka, efa no-googliavako dia haiko fa tena tsy mety amin’ny fivavahako, sady tsy tiako koa e!
- Tsy mba tianao ny mijery ahy mihosanosana? Sa inona no tsy itiavanao azy?

Ny mukbang, ho an’izay tsy mahafantatra, dia fihetsika anankiray nentin-dry zareo koreanina raha tsy diso ny fikarohako, ka ny atao dia mihinana hanim-be, hanim-pitoloha, dia alaina video ianao mihinana azy dia zaraina ho hitan’ny olona iny video iny.

* Fahotana ny manao an’io raha izaho Malagasy mpivavaka ity retsy a! Tsy izao havendranan’ny vahiny rehetra izao dia tokony handramana avokoa. Tsy mandeha lavitra fa etsy atsimo kely etsy dia matin’ny kere ny mpiray tanindrazana amiko, ka izaho ve hampidera amin’ny olona tsy fantatro hoe miletra sakafo bobaka? Tsy hain’ny fanahiko hatao izany raha mbola misy kere ao Atsimo, na mbola feno mpitsindroka fatifatin-kanina eny amin’ny fanariam-pako eto an-drenivohitra. Raha hoe handeha hifady hanina isika mianadahy isaky ny zoma hariva, ka izay teti-bidin’ny kaly sy revy tsy nolaniana halefa hanampiana ny havantsika any atsimo, dia ny fifadian-kanina ataontsika no alaina sary sy zaraina mba hanentanana ny hafa hanao toa antsika koa dia izay no mety amiko. Raha fifadian-kanina miampy vavaka aza izao tena mety …

Wednesday, February 10, 2021

Love, Death, Robots. Ep 9: Captcha


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* Salut leisy baina! Inona no malaza?
- Elaela leisy izany… Tsy mankaiza fa mitaiza leisy e. Aiza ialahy io, angaha tsy hoe taraiky any Chine moa?
* Efa eto an-tanàna efa ela leisy. Aty Majunga leisy izaho fa misy blèm. Voaendaka vao teo leisy, lasa ny finday, ny vola rehetra, ny carte, rehetra rehetra e, aty amin’ny Cyber izaho io izao. Tay be leisy a!
- Bokona be ohatr’ialahy ve leisy dia ho voaendaka fa ataovy resaka matotra
* Tena matotra leisy izany a! Sao mba afaka manavotra ahy ialahy, tena izay misy leisy fa na saran-dàlana hodiana aza tsy misy mihitsy. 03400120 leisy dia Bema no misoratra ao fa an’ny tompon’ity cyber ity io, fa mbola izay halefan’ialahy eo koa aza no handoavana ny sarany ato.
- Asio video kely leisy hoe aloha hijerena ny fiovan’ialahy izay elaela izay
* Ka hitan’ialahy, efa cyber 3 no nohatoniko fa tsy nisy nety nandray hoe tena tsisy vola aho. Dia ity iantsoako ity cyber tsy misy camera tsy misy micro ato.
- Tadidin’ialahy moa leisy ilay tany Ampefy tamin’ny 2016. Ilay kôzin’ialahy momba an’ilay 205?
* Tena tsy tadidiko an!
- Ilay tenin’ialahy momba ny vidiny sy ny lokony leisy a! Aiza koa dia tsy ho tadidin’ialahy iny.
* Ilay hoe ahoana moa? Ohatry ny “traumatisé” koa leisy aho ilay voaendaka teo dia tsy mihodina mihitsy ny lohako.
- Handefasako 400.000 Ar leisy ialahy ry bandy akama rehefa tadidin’ialahy izay kôzy izay an! Fa raha tsy tadidin’ialahy izay dia tsy ilay akama ialahy fa mpisoloky.


Jackie Lee s’est déconnecté.


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